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Mar. 10th, 2009

What Chakra Are You?

You Are the Heart Chakra
You are loving, kind, and empathetic. You feel for the world, and you truly value peace.
You have many close relationships, and you work hard to make them harmonious.

You are accepting and understanding. You are tolerant of all sorts of viewpoints, even if you don't agree with them.
You are very forgiving. When you love someone, your love is unconditional.

What Body of Water Are You?

You Are a Lake
You are inviting, friendly, and even playful. You are flexible and always up for fun.
You are downright cheerful and optimistic. You have a sparkling, radiant spirit.

You love relaxation and quiet. However, you are equally able to be entertaining and active.
You live a very well balanced life. People find you very easy to be around.

Jan. 29th, 2009

Still Latin and plants

Still learning those damn plants... Going to bed soon, though, tomorrow's a long day

Jan. 28th, 2009

Latin sucks

I have to study about 300 plants in Finnish and Latin, and my test will be a week after on Friday. I'm so not going to make it. I only started yesterday, and it took me about six hours to learn the Latin names of 40 plants! And I'd still have to learn how to recognize them... :(

It's really not my day today. I even woke up an hour too early, because I remembered the time of my lecture wrong. Of course, I only noticed when I was already at uni. I've been so tired all day... I really ought to sleep more.

The one giving a lecture was my only cheering point today. He was so obviously gay! Right down to his voice, posture and gestures. I just couldn't help but be amused about him. It was almost surreal; I've never met anyone like that :) He seemed very nice, though, and kind. Hopefully he can make some guy really happy ^_^

Jan. 27th, 2009

From me to you: Perfect Memories, Broken Dreams part 2

Warning: This story is about a mxm relationship, so if that's not for you, you can still make a click away from here.

Part 2

Our first kiss happened in that same place. There’s not much to remember about that, though. We were only hanging out like we had done for the past three months. We were friends, and we hadn’t talked about being something more even though I think both of us knew it wasn’t just plain friendship. We understood each other in a whole new level; I had never experienced something like that before. It wasn’t love, only pure affection and interest in one another.


That day wasn’t any different, but when we were sitting on that lawn I suddenly did it. I slammed my lips against yours and pulled away as quickly. Your eyes went wide and we just watched each other in the eyes until we both looked away without saying a word. We weren’t embarrassed, just surprised. It had to happen someday, but we realized that only then.


You snort in your sleep. I know, it wasn’t much of a kiss, I’m much better than that, but it was a start; the barrier breaker. It’s not like our relationship doesn’t have passion in it. Or didn’t have.


There is one morning that has burnt crystal clearly into my memory. I’m sure you remember it, too; it’s not a thing to forget.


It was six months from our first kiss. I was making breakfast in my apartment as you walked in sleepily from the bedroom. You had been sleeping over countless times before. I always woke up before you and I was grateful for that. It was a way to steal time from the world to just watch you and be near you. You looked so beautiful while sleeping; like the worries of the real world could never touch you.




“Good morning, sleepyhead!” I don’t have to turn around to know it’s Theo. I can hear the creaking chair as he sits down and mumbles something as a response. I chuckle inwardly; he hates waking up.


I put the plate with a sandwich in front of him and ruffle his hair affectionately. Then I take my place across the table. We eat in silence like usual when suddenly Theo calls my name cautiously.




“Yeah?” I raise my gaze and meet his serious eyes. I frown a bit at his expression because that one is really rare on him and I’ve never seen it with that slight flush on his face his having right now.


Theo bites his lower lip nervously before answering: “I think we should do it.”


“Do what?” I ask my frown deepening.


“You know… It”, he insists his blush deepening every minute.


‘What is he talking about?’ I wonder in my mind when suddenly a realization hits me.


“Oh, you mean have sex”, I blurt out without thinking causing Theo’s blush to deepen even further. I take it as a yes.


I don’t know what to say. Doing it has crossed my mind but I’ve thought it would happen naturally. We haven’t talked about anything, really, for everything between us has happened on itself.


I’m not even sure what this relationship is. It would be weird to call Theo my boyfriend. He means so much more to me than any girlfriend ever has. I have loved before, but this feeling isn’t anything like that. This feeling goes a lot deeper and I’m a bit scared to even try to find out what it is.


“You don’t want to, then?” Theo’s thin voice brings me back from my musings to the reality and I can see the pain of rejection on his face.


“No, I do want to. It’s just…” I trail away.


‘What if I hurt you?’ I’ve never been with a guy before. I’ve been with girls, for sure, but with a guy, and Theo nonetheless… I don’t know what to do. What if I mess up?


I glance at Theo’s hopeful gaze and sigh.


‘It’s not like he knows any better. We can try to find out together.’


“Okay, let’s do it.”


A wide smile spreads on Theo’s face and he seems to have troubles to stay still.


An alarming thought comes to my mind.


“Wait! You don’t mean right now, do you?”


“No! Of course not. We can do it tonight.”


I would like to ask what the rush is for but Theo is already gone. Then everything that happened sinks in making me feel bubbly inside and butterflies fly in my stomach. Soon I’m also grinning like a fool, even though there is also a cold lump of fear in my chest.


*end flashback*

Jan. 26th, 2009

Chemistry and hanging out

I had my Chemistry test today. I doubt it went all that well, but I think I'll pass anyway, and that was pretty much goal. In a couple of tasks I didn't have the slightest idea what I was supposed to calculate. I just did something and ended up with an answer that looked reasonable, and decided to go with that  :) Pathetic, I know.

Before the test I had a slight shock when the test wasn't where I thought it would be. But I found the place, and luckily, just in time to take my place before the test started. I did have to jump up again, though, to get some papers, and I had to disturb a boy who was sitting next to me and thus was blocking my way. Poor boy! I had to make him stand up for me four times because I left before he was done ^_^

Afterwards I went to the city to just hang out with my friends. I haven't really done that, in such a big group anyway, so it was really nice. I've always had this tendency to be unintentionately left out of the group, but this time everyone saw to it that none of us was missing. I'm so glad I went with them, even though it was out of the blue and I ended up not doing everything I was supposed to today.

I didn't even get to my writing :S I did try, but it just wasn't happening, so I decided to just draw the layout of one of the characters' home. It's not for From me to you, but for my other story called Shadow Eyes. It's also slash, and it's about a student who accidentally ends up in an art studio where he sees a portrait of a young man. He falls in love with that painting. Shadow Eyes is my first work in English, and now after two years, it's closing its end. I'll be relieved when it's over, because it's kind of exhausting to write and I have million ideas for other stories. But I think there'll be a sequel to Shadow Eyes anyway :)

From me to you: Perfect Memories, Broken Dreams (Original fiction made by me)

This is relatively short piece of original slash. Still not quite finished, but I'm getting there. I'm actually pretty proud of this one, but I'm always looking forward to constructive criticism.
Warning: This is slash, so there's a mxm relationship. If it's not for you, it would be better for all of us if you'd just walk away. This will have mature content in it, but not yet in the first chapter.

This is all mine, but if you wish to use it, just ask me. I doubt I'll say no ^_^

From me to you: Perfect Memories, Broken Dreams


I can feel your weight on me as you sleep wrapped around me. Your arm is on my waist holding me close and your head is on my chest. I can feel the heat you're radiating.


It's dark. I have no idea what time it is. I've lost the track of time a long time ago. I can't see much in the dark room, but that doesn't matter. There's something here that is more important than any sight could ever be; the sounds of your breath and heartbeat. I'm so happy that you're safe and sound and evidently alive. But, at the same time, I can hear my own heartbeat.


Curse that persistent heart! It makes me feel so guilty; I don't deserve to be alive. Above all, you don't deserve it, either.


I love you so much and I'd never want to hurt you. It kills me to know that I bring you only pain every day as long as I live.


I remember the day we first met. How could I ever forget? Your light brown hair was being played by the wind and your hazel eyes were shining with delight. You were short and clumsy and you wore too big clothes.


You were so not my type!


Isn’t it crazy that people have all these expectations about their partners just so that they can throw them to garbage when the time comes?


Not even now I know what made me take such a great interest in you.


It was the first warm day of spring. Nature was starting to bloom and birds were singing. Not that I noticed, though; I was in that park for a whole other reason.


Gabriella McIntosh, yes, that was her name. She was the most beautiful girl in college, every one of the guys wanted to be with her, and she was my target that day.




“There she is!” Mark shouts out pointing somewhere behind me. I turn around and, indeed, see the naturally reddish, curly hair, thin figure and heart-shaped face. She’s wearing a white dress with red flowers which is revealing her long legs. I smirk; this is my opportunity.


I start walking towards her confidently running my fingers through my thick hair. I look good, and I know it. I’m the captain of our tennis team, and the T-shirt and shorts I’m wearing leave no doubt how fit I am. In addition I have dark brown hair and chocolate brown eyes that melt every girl’s heart.


Gabriella has no chance.


To get to her I have to walk across a lawn. When I am about midway something crashes into me, hard, bringing me down with a thud.


“What-a –“I let out.


‘Whose sorry ass caused this?!’ I curse in my mind as I try to entangle myself from my assaulter.


“I’m sorry, please wait… No, stop! My hair is tangled in your necklace”, I hear him mumble but all I can see is a bundle of light brown hair.


I’m extremely annoyed but I realize that I have no choice in the matter so I give up struggling and just lie still. Suddenly I notice the stranger’s heartbeat on my chest and my anger starts to subside.


‘What’s happening?’


“Got it!” the stranger cries out and rises up taking the heartbeat with him and reminding me that I was angry. I sit up, too, preparing myself for giving a lecture.


“Look, I don’t know who you are, but if there’s a one stain…” I trail off when my eyes meet up with hazel eyes of which gaze is the warmest one I’ve ever seen.


“I’m terribly sorry about this; I didn’t look at all where I was running. I hope you’re not hurt”, he says with a voice that is like honey to my ears. He checks me out with a genuinely worried gaze. My anger is long forgotten.


“I’m okay”, I assure him. I get up and help him stand, too, but I don’t let go of his hand. I am afraid he will vanish as fast as he appeared if I let go.


“Okay”, he smiles obviously relieved. He takes a glance at our joined hands, but instead of demanding a release he introduces himself.


“I’m Theo, by the way.”


I nod, and after a while I manage to blurt out: “Ryan.”


“Nice to meet you, Ryan”, he flashes a bright smile that makes my heart flutter.


*end flashback*


I didn’t know what it was, and I don’t think you knew either, but after that day I never took a glance at Gabriella, or another girl for that matter. It was only you, or no one else.

Chemistry sucks

I have a chemistry test in twelve hours and I so don't get these things. Even Math is simpler to understand than this >< How am I supposed to know when a reaction happens on both ways?! I just don't understand... Gaah! I'm so fed up by this that I don't even want to practise these things.

Earlier today I was a referee in a volleyball match. It went well, thank god. Boys played againts old men, and the boys didn't really stand a chance in any point. It was entertaining enough, though, until we reached the third set and the boys just gave up. Oh well... But no one wanted to eat my head so I'm good ^^

Jan. 25th, 2009

(no subject)

*yawn* going to bed

Just learning things...

It's 4.30 AM and I really should be in bed already... A chemistry test coming up and all... But here I am, making my account that no one will probably read. But I had to come and see what kind of place this it and now that I'm here, I can just give it a try, can't I? ^_^ Maybe someone would be interested in my fiction, you never know...